Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
