Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize