we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
