guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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