so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
This is the high leading the old right now
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
