a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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