My cat gives me a boner
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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