I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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