My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
