I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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