I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
