What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
