the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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