This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
