thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
