Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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