Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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