and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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