someone get that fucking seahorse.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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