i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
