is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
