At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
