I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize