You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
