If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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