then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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