I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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