You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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