i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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