I'm going to rape someone's good day.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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