glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
