She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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