I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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