There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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