would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
