Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
