Tell her she can't have a vagina
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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