i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize