can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
