Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
