id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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