My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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