Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
