I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
