to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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