The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
