Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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