i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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