At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
