No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
