summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"