I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement