I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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