For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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