Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
