he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm getting married
To pizza
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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