I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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