guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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