I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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